People Share Stories About The Craziest Roommate They’ve Ever Had To Live With

If you think about it, moving in with someone requires a small streak of bravery. You might have spent a lot of time with that person in public settings like work, school, or even your local mall. You may have even hung out with them at a party or attended a wedding with them. But you don’t really know someone until you spend time with them in a private setting, in solitude away from other people, or even at night or early morning hours.

A change in location, time, and general surroundings can alter how we think, act, and feel after all. I know for me personally, I tend to be a lot shier in public, group settings. But hanging out in a small group at night in someone’s home? You bet my inner extroversive and flamboyant personality will be coming out quicker than you can blink.

Changes such as are relatively normal for most people. Although, we are not one and the same. Sometimes we learn after years of knowing someone that their crazy comes out at certain times or in certain settings. Or, maybe it’s just that we never really knew them at all.

The following are perfect examples of that.
Some people didn’t realize their roomies were bonkers until, well, they started to live with them. Car-stealing, destruction of property, drug use, odd rituals, and questionable actions, and aggressive personality traits and verbal abuse are all things that quickly present themselves after moving in with someone.

22. He Spread His Filth Everywhere He went


I’m envisioning Pig-Pen from Peanuts.

“My Sophmore and Junior years of college I spent living with two friends. One is still a good friend and current roomie, the other is now a sworn enemy.

Moving in, all was well. Everyone had their own bed/bath area and a nice big common room that made our apartment a major meeting place amongst our friends. More than that, we had 4 other good friends living on the floor above us.

Now the roommate in question was sort of a fat, awkward dude, but seemed alright at first. A couple of months after we moved in he started drinking tea a lot and just leaving the dripping tea ball, leaves and all, on the counter. We talked to him several times about this and eventually just hid his tea ball when he left home one day (it had soaked through the paper towel and congealed to the counter, took me a good 15 minutes to scrub off).
We thought that things were good after that, but he decided to start cooking more, and it was some of the foulest crap ever. Steamed spinach and ground beef, no spices or anything, just a pound of each thrown in a bowl (and spinach bits clogging my colander, not that he’d ever clean them out).

The smell of that stuff, along with the massive amounts he’d eat was disgusting. One time, he invited himself along with our friends from upstairs (he always did that, never asked if he could come, just sort of waddled along with any group he could latch onto), bought a big container of Publix Chinese food, and just started scarfing it down in the backseat. It smelled so strong it was nauseating, and of course, he had to argue with the driver about his being allowed to eat it there. Of course, after he closed the box, he dropped it, spilling sauce all over the backseat and fouling the car for a good month. He was banned from most cars after that.

The worst part though was his room. It was an absolute nightmare. Dirty clothes from who knows how long lying around everywhere, empty food wrappers and half-eaten plates of crap just festering for days on end, and a mountain of empty soda cans and bottles.
His room was closest to the front door and living room and he ALWAYS left his door open so the stench permeated the apartment. I took to closing it every time I saw it open, whether he was there or not, and spraying Febreeze through the vent above his door, just to keep the place liveable.

Also, for being a fellow gamer, he took terrible care of his systems. He offered to let us use his PS2 to watch a movie one evening (mine was on the fritz) and after about 10 minutes of the film, it stopped reading the disc.

We opened it up and found melted chocolate all over the lens and lens track. Probably the worst offense of this was when I had to enter his foul domain to retrieve the communal Xbox controllers for a Halo LAN party. They were in his dirty clothes basket under about 5 layers of stained, moldy shirts. Once I finally found them, they were warm to the touch and smelled like rancid meat. They kept that stench all night, despite all efforts to quash it.

Now the filth itself was bad enough, but what really pushed me over the edge with this kid was his personality.
He was a hanger-on, pure and simple, and had no sense of personal responsibility. My other roommate left for a summer, and it seems without both of us getting on his case to help clean, he wouldn’t lift a finger.

He was so messy and socially inept that our upstairs friends took to the practice of “Anne Franking” if they got a knock on the door. They would hit total silence and darkness the second they heard a knock, then would quietly sneak to see who it was, and if it was anyone but him, they were welcome. What’s worse is that I left town for a week to go home, found the apartment in total disarray, and he told one of my friends that it was nice to go a week without MY mess. I nearly snapped that day.

On the day he left (before move-out, which he showed up 2 days late for,) I decided to purge the room of funk, used a whole bottle of spray to little avail, but discovered the absolute most disgusting part of his mess.

Right across from his bathroom (which was right next to the door to his room) and stretching along the wall all the way to his bed were black stains and streaks.
To be clear, the walls were solid, stark white when we moved in. He had somehow cultivated mold on his darn walls and never thought to do a thing to fix it. We had management bleach his walls and bathroom for the health of everyone who came over.” Neomang

21. The Aggressive, Naked Ballerina


“I lived in a dorm where we had separate rooms but a shared kitchen between 12 people.

I had one girl who smeared liver pate all over the kitchen floor because we didn’t invite her to a party we had.

When confronted about it, she tried to vacuum it up. The vacuum smelt so bad and had bits of pate stuck in the bristles on the nozzle.

The reason she was not invited to a party was because of the time she got so annoyed at her neighbor for having a small gathering (at 10:30 PM on a Saturday night, during a holiday break), that she screamed that she would call the police and say he had physically assaulted her. She basically said (in front of all of us) that she didn’t care if it was a lie, because who were the police going to believe? Her or him, a Muslim? All because he was playing music at 10:30 PM on a Saturday night.

Later that night he caught her trying to break into his room.

Before all this, she had been living in a commune and had gotten kicked out for stealing. She had OCD or something and would lick all the doors in the hall and do a dance anytime she locked her door. I helped her assemble some furniture once, and we needed a screwdriver but didn’t have one. She said “Oh! I’ve got something we could use!” and pulls out a knife-shaped shard from a broken mirror from underneath her mattress. Creepy.

It seemed literally impossible to get her kicked out, and she wouldn’t leave. The dorm was independent of the university and only did annual study checks at the start of the school year, so she would enroll and then drop out after a month, but get to stay for the whole year.

We lived with her for 3 years, and she would make micro-aggressions towards everyone, like “accidentally” regularly stomping on my girlfriend’s foot, and “accidentally” spilling hot pasta sauce over me.

She practically lived in the communal kitchen and living area, reserving the tv, sleeping on the couch, burning pans on the stove. She had her junkie brother living on the couch for a month.
When she was in her room, she would “perform” by the large window, naked, doing stuff like fixing her hair, ballet leaps, and popping pimples on her breasts. Keep in mind, she was not attractive. We went to a party in the opposite dorm building, where we found out she was called “crazy naked lady.”

I felt kind of sorry for her because, despite the fact that everyone hated her, she still felt like this was the best place to live.

All our friends we had made in our previously lively and social dorm moved out. We stuck it out and she was eventually moved after over 10 official complaints and petitions from all members of the hall.” hurrdurrcrazyroomm8

20. Her And Her Entire Family Were Batcrap Crazy


“Sophomore year had a roommate drop out due to family issues but he said he’d replace his spot on rent with an ‘awesome guy.’ Turns out that ‘awesome’ guy was a greasy-haired psycho religious chick with bowel fixations. She went to bed and locked the door to her room every night at 7 PM SHARP but every day told us about how she needed to eat prunes and fiber for her bowel movements. Every EVERY day we had to hear, in detail, about the frequency, consistency, and odor of her BMs.

If it was not that it was diatribes about how the end was nigh, Jesus the redeemer, etc. Telling her to STFU did not matter. She’d just tell you anyway with this glazed stare. All she ate was prunes, yogurt, and Metamucil that we could see.

She was probably 95 pounds, pasty white, greasy short hair, and never brushed her teeth (or puked a lot) so her breath reeked like putrid mayo from 5 feet away. We assumed she had a severe eating disorder and once tried to talk to her to see someone. She’d speak in tongues randomly as well, which we got on tape one night (this was before digital recorders), edited, and put on our answering machine. The message was hilarious: something like, ‘you’ve reached [each of our names] and [speaking in tongues noises]. Leave a message.’ Her parents called, knew it was her, started yelling about Satan, then hung up.

We assume they thought the devil had possessed her and played the message for all of our friends. It was hilarious.

A few days later my 2 guy roommates and I are passing around the green stuff, watching a horror marathon really loudly. She believed the TV was evil, of course. While we’re all absolutely out of our minds, we hear a car screech to a halt outside 70s-cop-show-style.
Swore it was cops, of course, like every toked-up idiot does…

The front door was unlocked and this crazy ‘family’ of 5 all dressed in white (every one of them) storm into the house without knocking with this big guy yelling her name – we assumed it was her father. Her father then started cursing us and bellowing about how Satan was walking the Earth and screaming scripture with this crazy wild look on his face.

Dude was easily 6’7″ and maybe weighed 120 pounds. He then rips the answering machine out of the wall while her mom (we assumed) just started wailing and speaking in tongues with her eyes rolling back in her head with her arms outstretched. Two little kids with them (in white suits, mind you) just stared directly at us with absolutely no emotion whatsoever. Just dead stares. Her brother (again, assumed) then stormed in and one of my roommates – his eyes the size of dinner plates – just LOST it and screamed, “Malachi!” at the top of his lungs while jumping out an open 2nd- or 3rd-story window (can’t remember). Her brother then barreled into her room and carried her out to the waiting car with the entire family at a dead run.

The car squealed its tires and drove away.

She never said a word the entire time.

The entire episode took 3 or 4 minutes of real-time.

The jumper roommate ended up with a seriously sprained ankle and a branch punctured through his forearm. It was absolutely the hardest I’ve ever laughed in my entire life.

We never saw nor heard from her again. She left all her stuff there and never called or showed up again to pick them up. Her stuff was horrifically gross, but that’s another story…

Yelling ‘Malachi!’ still makes us pee ourselves to this very day.” ICDedPpl

19. I Mistakenly Moved Into A Drug House And Had To Put Up With A Home Invasion


“True story. When I was about 19 I had to move out of my mom’s place fast cause she got laid off, my crap job couldn’t cover squat, and our lease was up at the end of the month.

She went to live with family, I found a room in an ad in the paper. Lady seemed nice. Two other roommates, I couldn’t meet then. 3 huge rot/mutt dogs. She was kind of a dirty old hippy but not evil. I had to move by the next day and she didn’t mind my toking.
Get all my stuff in, huge tv, every gaming system since atari, etc. Just drop the last thing when she comes in and says, “Cool stuff! Want a hit?” Me: “Oh you got some green? Sure!” Her: “Nah I got the hard stuff.” Me: *Facepalm*

SO I beg one of my friends to stay there in my room and put a new lock on my door cuz I have to go to work.

I get off work and come home around midnight to open the door to the old hippy lady, the two other roommates who look like greaseballs plus six random giant dudes in the living room. Turns out these are my roommates and my immediate neighbors. This is day one. Day 2: Talk my unemployed friend into squatting in my room to watch my stuff while I’m at work. Put a stronger lock on the door. Hide strategic swords and knives around the room, cuz EFF… who knows… (this was a smart thing).

About a week goes by of me going to work, coming home, dodging now scary roommates and random druggies, hiding in my room and playing games with a buddy and searching for a new place at all times.

My items still somehow go missing. Another friend comes over cuz he doesn’t believe how bad it is and wants to see. He gets mugged and attacked between my front door and his car on his way out. This is a suburban housing development btw.

2-3 weeks in around 3-4 in the morning I awaken to the sound of the front door crashing in, dogs going nuts, old lady screaming as she runs down the hall trying to wake us all screaming, “They’re killing my dogs!” My buddy and I open the bedroom door expecting to see cops look down the hall towards the front door, and it’s three guys in ski masks with baseball bats beating the crap out of her rottweilers.

One of the creepy roommates comes out of his room with a meat hook in his hand full of druggie rage and charges at the guys. I’m about to lock our door up and call the cops when my buddy (I kid you not) grabs my shoulder and says, “Dude… I really like those dogs…” I give him the, “Are you freaking kidding me?!” look. He counters with puppy dog eyes.
“Fine. But they better not have firing arms. Grab the samurai swords.
The sharp ones. I get the black one and the wolverine claw.”

I would like to say what followed was an epic battle, but the three home invaders, already dealing with one remaining dog and a crazed meat hook wielding druggie, took one look at us screaming and running at them down the hallway decided to “WHAT THE FLIP IS THIS!” and take off.

I would like to think we furthered the stereotype that all long-haired trench coat wearing white boys are not to be messed with. They were arrested later that night trying to rob a 7-11 and having about as much success since there was a cop in the parking lot. Turns out they were some of our drugged out neighbors.

I got the heck out of there the next day. My buddy took the dog that lived. I gave him the 2 swords he wielded. I would like to think he and mutt went off to have grand adventures, but two weeks later he was sleeping in my new closet and the dog was at his mom’s. Old hippy lady it seems was only 30 and just aged BAAAADLY due to a major hard drug habit.

She smoked all the money I and the creepy roommates gave her for rent and they all got evicted at the end of that first month – by her father who owned the house.
I moved seven more times in the next two years. And that wasn’t even what I would consider my worst roommate experience. It was just my first.” ZenPoet

18. He Pretended To Move Out, Then I Found Him Living In My Closet


That’s… odd.

“I had a roommate a few years ago… we’ll call him Fluffy. So anyway Fluffy was renting the back bedroom in our small apartment, paying $250 a month. Guy was a bit obsessed with World of Warcraft (WOW) and would spend all hours of the day and night when he wasn’t working playing WOW.

Eventually, he managed to lose his job because he was playing WOW at work. 3 months go by and he still hasn’t gotten a job and now owes me $750.

He starts…. devolving… pee jugs in the room, piles butts, spirits bottles… I don’t know how he was getting the money to buy cigs or adult beverages and not pay me rent. I get fed up with it and evict him. Come home the next night, the room is spotless, the door is locked and I’m so happy to be rid of him.

Around 2 am a few days later, I’m getting ready for bed and I hear some faint music.
Unsure where it’s coming from I start searching, maybe I left my MP3 Player somewhere and it turned on? End up at the back bedroom closet.

Music is clearly audible and I can hear rapid keypresses and mouse clicking… open the closet door.

MOFO IS IN THE CLOSET, HIDING, PLAYING WOW. He had moved his entire desktop computer and desk into the closet. He had pooped in the corner and peed all over the wall in the closet. The smell was horrendous. It must have been over 120 degrees in that closet too with his computer tower going full bore with no ventilation. I tried to get his attention to tell him he had to leave right away but dude was in some kind of altered state of mind and nothing I would do got his attention. I end up calling the police and they come and escort him and all his stuff out.

Apparently he was wanted on a warrant for armed robbery, which explains the money he had for his bad habits.” TruckerTimmah

17. He Stole My Car, Drove Erratically, And Nearly Got Me Arrested


“I’ve got a good one.

In the mid-2000s, I moved out of the house, went to college, and started my life of living outside the nest.
So, as is customary, I moved into the dorms with a few roommates. I had to get used to a number of things – cooking with others, waiting in line, taking turns in the shower, rationing food, etc.

To give you a sense of place – I was going to college to study a form of art (I won’t say which, not important). I had two ‘official’ roommates.

They were both older, one obviously a plant druggie (I’d smoked occasionally), and another just a cool, laid back guy. Things were going smoothly for the first month or so, and in general, I was getting used to things.

That’s when things started getting weird. More and more, my druggie roommate started bringing over a girlfriend of sorts. A girl with a hefty gut (not overly obese, just chunky), who didn’t realize she shouldn’t ever be allowed to wear a shirt that went any higher than her knees. I’d go off to visit friends back home every weekend, and I’d come back and something would be off. The girl was always there, but I never saw her sleep with the guy.

One day, when they had class, I did a little exploring.

I looked into his room, found nothing, and was about to leave when I saw a little bit of cloth sticking out of the closet.
I open the closet (2’x4′ mind you) and there’s a wad of blankets with a pillow. The crazy bee with an itch had made a NEST in her boyfriend’s closet – hiding it from me and our fellow roommate. This story has a bit more to it but there are other fish to fry.

So, after finding out about the bird girl, I tried to mind my own business. I’d say hello to our druggie roommate, close my door, and try to ignore the fact that I had roommates. One night, I come home after class and walk in on druggie roommate.

He’s staring at the wall, which stands firmly two inches from his face.

He’s doing this on the stairwell, and my room is up said stairs. I stand at the bottom of the stairs for a moment, planning my next move, when I see bird lady from atop the staircase. She informs me he’s on some hallucinogen and I nod, making my move up the stairs. He doesn’t notice me move past him, and I promptly shut my door and try to get some rest. I fade off into a dreamy sleep….

Flashlights. Two inches from my face. This is what I wake up to.
I shield my eyes and look at the clock. It’s 2 AM and I now realize there are 2 cops insisting I get out of bed and come talk with them.

Shocked, I get out of bed and throw some pants on, following them downstairs. I may have asked what was going on, but this part is somewhat foggy.

I get downstairs and the cops are asking me if I realize I nearly hit a cop, ran a red light, and rode a curb, parking at my dorm sideways, half on the grass. I tell them I have no freaking idea what they’re talking about. Now, it’s important to note that bird girl, laid back roommate and scumbag druggie are all sitting Indian style with their backs against the wall (as am I). Bird girl informs the cop that I had nothing to do with it, looks at me and says she’s really sorry.

Scumbag druggie speaks up and apologizes as confirming the truth as well. Laidback roommate just nods.

The cops proceeded to tell me that they picked up my name because apparently FREAKING SCUMBAG DRUGGIE  STOLE MY CAR and did those things that were previously mentioned.

I moved out the next week.
Eff that guy.” IClimbStuff

16. The Secret Drag Queen Liked To Spike People’s Drinks


“Can’t say this was my roommate, but he pretty much was. He used to live right below me in my old apartment complex.

The guy moved in a few months after I did, so I was still meeting people in the complex. I met and hung out with the guy that lived right across the hall from him. Anyway, so one night I’m out on my balcony with a friend from work, lighting up a special plant stick and having a few drinks.

The next day, I’m walking down to my car and he’s bringing stuff up from his truck (he was still unpacking and getting settled) and immediately says, ‘Hey!’ and all that and cuts to the chase saying, ‘Hey! I smelled that plant last night, and heard you out on the balcony, was that you?’ and I looked at him and thought he seemed cool and told him, ‘Yeah from time to time, I partake in that. Last night was one of those occasions.’ He then said he’d love if I could get him some so he could celebrate him moving in and christen the place pretty much.
I agree, told him I was gonna be working that day but that night I would knock on his door and give it to him.

He said that was cool, so I left, went to work, picked up from one of my coworkers, headed back home. Walking up the steps since he lived below me, I knocked on his door to take care of that before I went to my apartment and kicked back and started to relax.

I knocked on the door, and he opens, and he has all lipstick that looked smeared on his face by his lips, and his hair was all messy, he didn’t have a shirt on, and the music was blasting, and he looked excited and out of breath. I’m thinking this guy is getting laid no doubt. I give him his stuff and walk back upstairs. It wasn’t till I got upstairs where after a few minutes he turned the music off and I didn’t hear anybody hooking up below me.

I also thought, ‘This guy just said he moved from out of state, he didn’t know anybody here, he hasn’t started his job yet.. who is he with? This guy must-have skills for picking up women.’

Anyway, a few weeks passed and I didn’t really talk to him that much but weird things started to happen.
Like outside our front doors in the hallway there were these plastic benches, and you could lift the seat part up and put your trash bags in them and close it. They had some maintenance guy come once a week and take all the bags. Anyway, I noticed it started to look like someone was going through my trash. I had a certain way of putting the bags in there so they would fit, and when I would come home sometimes the seat part wouldn’t even close all the way and it would stick out and catch my attention.

I thought hey there’s a big freaking tree right there, might’ve been a squirrel or some rodent.

Then, one night I came home and there was a huge scratch on the door, completely chipped the paint off and everything and the scratch was right next to the doorknob. I immediately thought someone tried to break in. Said eff it though and went inside and that was that.

Anyway, one night about a couple of months after our first conversation outside his car when he was unpacking, I wake up at about 3 or 4 in the morning. I was just laying in bed, couldn’t fall back to sleep, so I decided to go outside, light a couple of bowls,  and then go back to bed.

I go out on my balcony, and I see this chick in the parking lot in a bright red dress and a long curly blonde wig. I’m trying to get a better look, that’s when I started to notice this chick was pretty masculine, the way she moved, her shoulders… wait.. is that?? is that hair on her legs???? wait… does that chick… does that chuck have a goatee?

Needless to say, I saw ‘her’ walk back up the stairs and of course ‘she’ walks into that guy’s apartment. I immediately thought about the time I gave him the grass and he had lipstick all over his face and his hair was all messed up and his shirt was off. He was obviously in drag a few moments before I knocked on the door.

Then thought this guy is probably a drug addict or just mentally unstable and is going through my trash looking for leftover “greens” or just garbage he could put in his personal ‘shrine’ to me. I thought about the big deep scratch on my door next to the doorknob, and a number of times I felt someone was watching me. It all made sense at that point.

Anyway, a little while after that happened, since I don’t really judge people and always look for the best in people, and I know how to defend myself, one day he invites me and my neighbor to watch the basketball game and drink a couple of drinks.
We go but my friend and I bring our own drinks.

We start to drink our drinks first. In the 4th quarter, we finished the drinks we brought and start drinking his drinks. He rushed to the kitchen, immediately opened them up, was in there for a couple of seconds and came back out with a smile and handed them to us like he was in a marathon or something. We drink the drinks and by the time we finish them the game was just about over and we call it a night.

I go back to my apartment, lock the door, and take a shower. I get out of the shower and no lie I just collapsed and fell into the cabinet doors under my sink. I looked around and thought that was really strange, and when I was about to get up I got really lightheaded and dizzy and it began to be hard to breathe.

I stay on the floor for a moment, take a few deep breaths, start to feel kinda normal, and get up and all that. My heart was still racing because just collapsing like that scared the heck out of me. I didn’t know what that meant or why that happened if it was anything serious.
So, I go to bed, and as soon as I close my eyes I start to see weird freaking images pop up in my head and they seemed so flipping real. Some times it scared me because I couldn’t determine what was real or what wasn’t, then I passed out sometime after that.

The next day I woke up feeling a little weak and just shake it off and I go over to my cell phone and see a text from my neighbor, the guy who came with me to that guy’s house to watch the game.

All the text said was ‘Dude, I think I need to talk to you.’ I immediately called him and I’m just like ‘I think I know what you’re about to say, but just in case..” and told him to tell me what he needed to tell me.

He was pretty disturbed by it, like devastated. No emotion in his voice, his voice was just flat and weak. He’s like ‘man, last night I came home and I started to cook something in the kitchen. He said out of nowhere the room started spinning like crazy and he fell back and hit his head on the sink.
He said after that was a blur. He’s like ‘I didn’t have that much to drink last night.’ After I told him about my experience, he starts to open up more about this guy, and being that he lived right across from the guy, he was more likely to witness things this guy was doing more than me.

He told me there were some times very late at night this guy would come home and he would be sleeping on his couch, and the guy would come home and wake my friend up, my friend would get aggravated and look in the peephole and admitted to me he saw him in dresses before, sometimes carrying TVs or computers, all that.

I was just thinking darn, what if we drank his drinks first, both of us would’ve passed out in this dragqueen’s apartment.

Still, can’t believe it. It still seems surreal that something like that almost happened to me.” nujurzy87

Another User Comments:

“My parents would always admonish my sisters never to accept a drink they didn’t open themselves… maybe good advice for guys too, when dealing with mentally unstable, gender-confused individuals.” cabr1to

15. He Framed His Bloody Shirt After An Unsuccessful Fight


Why remind yourself of the time you were defeated? Embarrassing and, not to mention, gross.

“The second year of college (party/state school), 2 AM, I’m trying to sleep in my room when I hear a commotion outside of the apartment. I look out the window and there’s some kind of fight going on with 4 or 5 people on the sidewalk. I walk out onto our 2nd-floor balcony to get a better look and I can see it’s 3 very inebriated dudes getting the living daylights beat out of them by one very large Andre the Giant looking guy. I then realize the 3 guys are my roommate and his idiot high school friends who were visiting for the weekend. Having no idea how this beef started and being quite noodly armed I was not about to go down there to intervene, but I kept watching in case stuff got real so I could call the cops to prevent my roommate’s murder.

I then hear somebody slam open our apartment door, the jingle of the silverware drawer being violently pulled open, and the slam of the front door again. Outside, the two high school buddies are still getting pummeled, and I see my roommate come out of the apartment complex main door with a freaking steak knife.
A scuffle occurs between him and Andre the Giant, but its right under the balcony at an angle that I can’t really see what’s happening. Five seconds into this (stabbing?) cop cars, sirens blazing, show up and the giant runs for it.

I decide to walk outside, because, well, my roommate might have just been murdered, and by the time I get down there I see him sitting hunched over and a cop kneeling over him.

At this point, several ambulances show up and he and his friends (who are both next to the unconscious) are sped to the hospital, and the cops follow. His girlfriend, who had called the cops and must have been out there the whole time, is bawling and I take her in a cab to the hospital. We sit in the waiting room for a long time, until they eventually let us see him. He’s on a bed in a room, crying his eyes out. He’s got a little one-inch stab wound on his shoulder blade and the nurse gives us an eye-roll and says, “He’s fine.” A cop is there trying to get some semblance of a story out of him, but the intoxicated blubbering is making it impossible.

Having been the only sober witness, I tell him what happened, but not wanting to have my friend be charged with attempted murder, I leave out the part where he brought the steak knife to the fight. The cop eventually leaves the room, and his girlfriend and I spend an hour trying to calm him down and get him to stop crying, while he keeps buzzing the nurse every 5 minutes to get him some more fruit cups. He eventually sobers up and calms down and around 7 AM I take a cab back to the apartment.

I wake up around 2 PM and walk into the living room to find him and his two HS friends sunken into the couch. The two friends’ faces are black and blue and their eyes are nearly swollen shut.

My roommate is in the process of framing the torn, bloody T-shirt he was wearing the night before. I guess as a trophy. For the time he got stabbed. With his own knife. And cried about it for hours.

I had already lost a lot of respect for him during the events of the night before, but this put a cap on it. At the end of the year, he went back home a week before we had to move out and left our other roommate and I to clean up our disaster of a college party apartment.
He had left his vacuum cleaner, which we threw out because we didn’t know what else to do with it. After learning of the loss of the vacuum he became irate with me, and never spoke to me again, because I was “not sorry enough about it.”” Turbulent_Option

14. He Started Screaming And Smashing Everything In Sight


“Living in a college student-only apartment building, I requested a move to a new room because of party animal roommates.

Rooms are all five bedroom suites with shared bathrooms, kitchen, and living room. As it’s summer, three of the bedrooms in the new room are rented but empty by students not there for the summer, and only one roommate is actually present.

Meet the new roommate, seems normal, chill, talk about video games and music a lot. Honestly seemed like he could be a great friend at first.

One day a few weeks later, I start hearing random screaming and crashing coming from his room. At one point he knocks on my door, asking for a broom, as he’s broken a few things. I give him a dustpan and broom and ask if he’s okay, he mumbles something to himself as he walks back to his room and slams the door.

A few hours later, more screaming, more crashing, and again he knocks on the door, this time asking for some tape. I give him some and again ask if he’s okay, and he replies he might need to go to the mental hospital but I don’t need to do anything.

I go to bed with some earplugs in (a habit I’d formed because of previous party animal roommates), and the next morning our shared kitchen and living room is TRASHED. Broken furniture, drawers and cabinets torn off the wall, a knife sticking out of the wall, TV cratered in as if it was punched, the whole nine.

Luckily for me, I’m leaving for a family event that weekend, so I decide to head out early and leave right that second (after taking pictures of the damage.)

On my way out of the building, I stop at the building manager’s office to tell her everything.

She already knew something was up, as apparently a window from his room was smashed and objects were thrown onto the sidewalk below.

She asks me to write up an email detailing what I’d seen and provided her the pictures I took. I do so and bail.

A few hours later, I get a text from a friend who works near my building saying “LOL bro there’s a ton of cops surrounding your building, did you kill someone or something?”

I emailed the building manager to ask what happened, but she tells me the police were inside our suite, but she can’t detail what happened with him due to privacy concerns.
A few days later, going back to the building, I pop in her office to ask the building manager for details or warnings before I go up.

She’s not there, but her assistant is. I ask the assistant, whose only reply to my concerns is “You know, the eviction process takes a really long time.”

I go up to the room, pooping myself, expecting the worst, but luckily he’s not around at the moment. I didn’t see him again for a couple of days, and once I did, he acted completely casually and as if nothing had happened. Casually asking about video games and random crap standing in an apartment with completely torn apart cabinets and furniture.

A week or so later, he’s gone without a trace. Apparently his family forced him to move back home and defer going to college so he could get better.

Apparently when I’d left for that weekend, why the police showed up, the building manager contacted the roommate’s father, but when the father showed up, the roommate possibly threatened to kill someone (people who were nearby/present differ in stories) so the police had to show up and break into the room.

He seemed to have a history of mental illness and had a few events in his life that caused this breakdown.
Good news, a year and a half later I see on social media he ended up finishing college, has a full-time job, and seems to be functioning very well.” RingStrider

13. She Wouldn’t Stop Threatening Her Roomies


“Not me, but my wife (at the time – girlfriend); In college, she lived with 3 other girls in an apartment. The apartment complex was actually brand new and pretty nice. Each of the rooms had a mini-fridge and a small kitchen sink in addition to the main kitchen in the great room.

Despite having bad roommates before, my GF had grown to like the girls for being such an eclectic mixture of culture.

There was the redneck girl who was somewhat of a country belle but carried a snub-nosed pistol for safety. The Shy girl was a naive, book-smart introvert who seemed a bit too young for college. We actually didn’t know she was from another country in the middle-east until months later. The third was The Crazy girl who, at first, was your typical extrovert with aspirations of sorority life.

Typical to most random-roommate living situations, each person had their own set of dishes, while some of the items of the apartment were communal. The couch and dining table in the great room were both my GF’s, leftover from her previous bad apartment experience.
My GF first started having issues with her things going missing.

It started with glasses and dishes and eventually, all the chairs to the table were gone. While The Crazy was out at class, the girls would occasionally check her room if the door was unlocked. Sure enough, they’d find their dishes and glasses piled on top of the dining-table chairs which were being used as dinner-trays so The Crazy could watch TV and eat her food in bed.

The conflicting schedules and the combined passive-aggressive nature of the other girls would leave them with the only option being carefully worded notes with friendly and casual tones. The Crazy, of course, flipped out every-time she got a note. She would go into her room and scream about how she lived with a bunch of girls, whiners, and/or racists (The Crazy happened to be of different skin-color than the other roommates).

It was at about this time that my GF opted to start living in my apartment rather than her own, the ultimate in passive-aggressive doctrine… She would two or three nights a week stay at her old apartment to make sure her things were okay and that Country and Shy were okay. It seemed each time she stayed there the Shy and Country would come out of their rooms with horror stories of how things were getting worse.
They all were able to joke and laugh about it, but as soon as The Crazy got home, they went back into their rooms and locked their doors.

Things escalated around the time of Mardi Gras. The Crazy went with a bunch of friends to New Orleans.

As best as we were able to gather, she got so wasted that she literally lost her car. She ended up hitching a ride home, and to this day we don’t know what happened about the car. The Crazy, now without personal transportation, instantly 180’d and tried to be the nicest person the other girls had ever known in order to bum rides everywhere. The Country, more out of pity rather than hopes of friendship, gave The Crazy a ride… once. The Crazy indicated that she had a sorority event that she needed to attend and begged Country for a ride. Country relented and they headed out in what I assume was a typical redneck’s beat-up pick-up truck. The Crazy then indicated that she needed to visit the bank first… then somehow convinced Country that they should get communal groceries.

Hours later the Country realized that she had been tricked into running errands for Crazy.
It turns out that the “sorority meet-up” was actually a lunch-date with some guy. Country laughed about it with my GF and Shy while advising them to never give Crazy a ride anywhere.

Turns out Crazy’s specifications for male suitors were surprisingly lack… they needed to have a car. She settled for an over-middle aged man who drove a piece-of-junk. I’ve only heard horror stories of the noises that would come out of their room, which I imagine have permanently ruined Shy. There was a bit more in the trade than just hooking-up-for-car, as she allowed this 40+-year-old man to stay in the apartment even while she was gone at classes.

This, much to Crazy’s surprise didn’t sit well with Shy and Country who escalated the situation to the property managers.

The property managers attacked Crazy and forced her to evict the love of her life which is when she went super-Saiyan crazy. She started coming home from sorority events (which I’m pretty sure she was crashing now that her life was in such shambles there’s no way she could keep pace) completely intoxicated and would throw things at the barricaded doors of Country and Shy. She would leave notes telling them that she was going to murder them in their sleep or start a fire and burn the apartment down.
On more than one occasion they would wake to find burnt matches under their doors.

Well after a few days of this they went to the police to investigate their options. I’m kinda fuzzy about what happened seeing as, at this point, my GF refused to go back to the apartment (and her absence allowed her to dodge the majority of threats to her life and police interaction). It was pretty much Country fighting this battle alone while Shy hid in her room and cried to her parents who lived on the other side of the world.

Well to wrap things up, Crazy vanished (was evicted? arrested?) but had enough time to smash all the dishes of all the other roommates, including two crystal wine glasses my GF inherited. My GFgraduated and I transferred out. We found out later that Crazy, while still driving her soul partner’s junk-mobile, came across Shy who was walking across a cross-walk at an intersection on campus and tried to run her over.

Luckily Shy was only slightly hurt and Crazy was definitely arrested.

My GF had terrible luck with roommates/apartments and has other stories if anyone actually read my whole spiel.” phayd

12. She Was A Fire Hazard And A Psycho


“Freshman year, ten girls, two triple rooms and four single rooms.
I had a suitemate/roommate who lived in one of the triple rooms, top bunk. She seemed shy at first, so the nine of us tried to show her around campus, introduce her to friends, etc. When she didn’t warm up to any of us after a few weeks, we pretty much gave up and just said “hello” whenever we saw her. Which was practically never, because she was usually asleep from 8 AM – 8 PM.

She never went to class and would ask for our notes when she woke up. I got annoying after a while, but we figured she was homesick, so we obliged. We were never mean to her, just not overly friendly since she never seemed to make the effort.

Anyway, about a month into the quarter, she started to get really sassy with the two girls who lived in her room. She would yell at them if they talked during the day (when she was trying to sleep). She would sit in the living room and watch TV at 3 AM, which bothered the rest of us. She started eating ramen and chicken… nothing else. When she was done, she would just leave her stuff on her desk (which was in front of the window in her bedroom).

Over the course of two months, all the empty ramen cups and dirty plates (with chicken bones still on them) began to pile up, and eventually, you could no longer see out the window (which was about 5 feet tall).

At some point, we realized that we had never seen her take a shower. After observing her for a week (her roommates also looked through her closet and drawers), we found no shampoo/conditioner, no pants (aside from the pair she always wore), and no underwear. When we asked her about the lack of shampoo/conditioner (didn’t want to ask about the pants/underwear), she said she used mayonnaise in her hair to make it shiny. Again, we never actually saw her take a shower, so I don’t know if she rinsed it out in the sink or what…

Finally, she snapped.

She started stomping around the living room and crying at all hours of the night. Whenever we tried to comfort her, she would yell at us and say we were horrible people. The RAs eventually stopped coming, because she would call them every single night. She stepped out onto the balcony one night and threatened to jump off the six-story building. We called the RAs, but when they arrived, she locked herself in her room (thus locking her two roommates OUT) and insisted that we were all lying, that she wasn’t going to kill herself, etc.
Sadly enough, we weren’t able to get her kicked out until she slapped one of us across the face.

The residential dean said that our suitemate/roommate was a “fire hazard”, due to all the crap piled up in front of the window.

She was told to leave our apartment within 24 hours. As she was cleaning everything out of her room (we forced her to take care of the foodstuff as well), cockroaches started skittering all over the place. Keep in mind, we were SIX STORIES above the ground. I don’t know how the cockroaches got to our apartment, but they did.

The worst thing is that the university claimed it couldn’t force psychiatric evaluations if she didn’t want them. She proceeded to move out of two more on-campus apartments that year… then we never heard from her again. I hope to God she went home and got the help she needed because she was a mess.” Silverkinz

11. The Raging Substance Abuser Who Stole Food And Peed Everywhere


“I had this roommate who was a ginger.

Let’s call him Bob.

Anyways, he moved in in the middle of the semester because one of our old roommates moved out since they had found someplace cheaper with buddies.

Bob told us a story of how his old roommates were doing hard drugs and that’s why he left. That story was a bit extreme, but sure I can believe it. Everyone experiments in college. Things started getting progressively worse from there.

The first was when I found a half-eaten package of grasshopper cookies eaten. Me, being too passive about the whole thing was like, “Meh. Food gets eaten by roommates all the time.” Little did I know, Bob turns into a Snorlax that pees all over the place when he’s not sober. Literally.

Here are 4 incidents that I remember. 1.) One night, one of my roommates texted me to check on Bob, who went down into the basements where the hippies live. She was worried because she had pulled out a huge tray of chicken nuggets (which turned out to be mine) that were burning and saw Bob go down into the basement. “Sue” one of the hippies who lived there just came home so we went down together and found Bob passed out on their couch. He had apparently been drinking and in retrospect, we hypothesized that he went down there to get more from the hippie’s mini-fridge. So Sue and I helped Bob up the stairs and left him passed out on his bed.

When we laid him down, he had a wet spot on his crotch area.

2.) Bob came home one night being propped up by two girls. I was in my room, jamming to some tunes while I studied, but Sue was in the kitchen. Apparently, as soon as Bob came in, the two girls left, and Bob then proceeded to whip out his junk and gave the kitchen floor a golden shower. Sue screamed at him, but Bob, being too unsober, passed put in his urine. Sue had to then pick him up and drag him to his room. She left him on the floor there and cleaned up his pee. She then went downstairs to chill after all this and hears some fumbling.

Apparently, Bob needed to pee again so he went on his floor, and it dripped down into the basement. Poor Hippies.

3.) Bob comes home again, very unsober, at 9 and passes out in his room. Okay. Whatever. However, he then wakes up at 2 am and goes to take a shower. Once again, since he drank so much, he passes out in the shower over the drain, causing all the water to build up. Soon the bathroom is flooded, and Joe, the other hippie who was living in the basement, runs upstairs, rips open the bathroom door and goes “Bob, what the bleep?” Guess what Bob said? “Oh.
Sorry. I legit fell asleep.” No crap Bob. No crap.

4.) My bucket of change that I had been collecting over the course of my collegiate career goes missing.

The same week that Bob finally buys some food for himself. He’s come into my room before and looks around, so I know he knows about my bucket of change. There’s no way for me to prove that Bob stole my bucket of change, but the coincidences and his past history gives me no other suspect. One roommate is a Pharmacist and makes too much to steal change, and the hippies are the nicest people in the world. The only one it could have been is the dirtbag who steals everyone’s food. So in retaliation, I proceed to eat his food. Of course, he doesn’t say anything because what is he going to do? Throw a fit over the food he bought with stolen money? I then go into his room when he’s gone and snoop around.

I normally respect other people’s privacy, but stealing my huge bucket of change wasn’t cool. While snooping around, I found a paper that on one side was from the university telling him he blacked out at a party, and now needs to enter counseling classes for his problem.
On the other side is a letter from a chick. It reads, “Bob. You messed up again. I’m sick of being your babysitter. Call me when you grow up.”” andxie

Another User Comments:

“Sounds like my old roommate. Except he would disappear for days at a time and come back bloodied and bruised then pee on the floor and pass out. Turns out he would routinely go on 2-3 day benders binges then spend 2 days passed out soiling himself before starting over.” solinv

10. She’d Yell At Us For Things She Also Did

Jan Kopřiva

Talk about hypocrisy.

“I had a clean freak roommate who was crazy.

She’d literally FREAK OUT and scream and clean up after you while you were cooking. I’d cut vegetables and be putting the first part into a pan, and she’d walk over furious that I’d left the cutting board out and messy for her to clean up….I’m literally still using it! I’ll clean up when I’m done using the cutting board! She however only ate two things, chicken nuggets, and popcorn…WHICH SHE NEVER CLEANED UP AFTER.

She cooked the chicken nuggets on the same baking sheet every day. And when it was so caked in nugget residue it would burn in the oven, she’d put a layer of tin foil over it and cook on that.
And then when that layer was gross, instead of removing the tin foil layer, she’d add more tin foil over the top! When she moved out, she left the pan in the drawer under the stove covered in 6 layers of greasy burnt crumbed chicken nuggets.

She couldn’t stand me not cleaning a cutting board of vegetables halfway thought cooking them, but apparently a baking sheet covered in 3 months of chicken grease and crumbs can go back in the drawer?

She also made herself popcorn every night and then left the uncleaned pot on the stove all the time. That pot was never cleaned.

She did this before she’d go to bed….at 7 pm. She’s had the same bedtime since she was a child. She never went to bed after 8 pm. If you made it past 9 without waking her up though, she was a sound sleeper and the noise level wouldn’t wake her.

She would invite her nieces over with no warning. So I was working retail at the time and had just worked an inventory until 4 am.

I got home and at 6 am she and her nieces aged 6 and 9 started playing games that involved shrieking. We’d never have any idea children were even in the apartment until the morning activities and she would get furious at us for implying we’d like them to keep it down until 8 or 9 because “this is just as much her place as ours and she can do whatever she wants!” However, if we had anyone stay for more than 2 hours she’d ask us to pay a higher share of the rent because they now counted as an additional resident of the apartment and we needed to be responsible for the burden.
She’d watch TV in her room with the door open, and get mad if you made too much noise in the living room on the other end of the house while she was watching.

But she would never change the volume, or close the door. If she couldn’t hear, she’d lecture you about roommate respect and watching the volume instead of shutting the door and turning the volume up a small smidgen.

Remember when I said she was a total neat freak and would walk around the kitchen cleaning up after you while you were still using items to cook? She made a big deal about how the cleanliness of the kitchen was of the utmost importance. I got off work 2 hours early one day and walked in and what did I find her doing? Cutting someone’s hair….IN THE KITCHEN! There was hair all over the stove, counter, and floor. Vegetables are a kitchen abomination, but she cuts people’s hair in there twice a week and doesn’t think it’s a big deal at all.

Finally, she was moving out. She let us know about a month ahead of time that she’d be leaving, and slowly started moving her stuff. This was her last, and greatest EFF YOU: She charged us for the last month’s internet service….and the first thing she moved out was the router, which was hers.
She refused to reimburse us the month’s internet and hadn’t let us know ahead of time she’d be taking it for us to go get a new router.

Then when she was upset we asked for our money back, she exacted revenge. The table and chairs we ate at were hers because she insisted they be the common furniture because it was the only stuff she trusted. We couldn’t fit our table and chairs in until she moved them out and she knew it.

So she left the table, our only place to eat, and she left the chairs, the only place to sit and eat…..and she took the mother fudging cushions off the chairs! She had her brothers unscrew the cushions on all the chairs and take them, but leave the unusable chairs and table for 29 more days out of spite. We tried to move her chairs to put our usable chairs down, and she hid all of ours into a closet in her room and set the chairs with no seat back at the table.

I still hate her guts.” accentmarkd

9. He Was A Compulsive Liar And A Thief


“Six of us shared a flat together. The first year was fine, no real problems.

One of the guys, let’s call him Tom, was a bit of a slob, but I guess that we all were really. Year two, two people left the flat, and two new people (who we had never met before) moved in.

Because we had new flatmates, we decided that we would go out for a few drinks as a celebratory/welcome thing. We all went out and had a couple of drinks and got to know each other a bit. The new female flatmate (we will call her Kate) and Tom seemed to hit it off, and they left the pub before the rest of us to go back to the flat. The rest of us stayed for a couple more drinks, before heading home.

When we got back, Kate and Tom were both in Kate’s bedroom, lying fully clothed on her bed. When the rest of us got Tom on his own we asked him what had happened, and he said that they had hit it off, gone back and talked for a while, and then they went to third base. We were a bit shocked by this because she didn’t seem the type and it seemed a bit wrong to be doing that with your flatmate on the first night we all met.
Anyway, it didn’t happen again, so we forgot about it and carried on with life.

This was where Tom started to turn weird. His personal hygiene deteriorated to the point that his shoulder-length hair started to dreadlock itself because he wasn’t looking after it, and his room started to fill up with rubbish.

We made him cut the dreadlocks out of his hair and no more appeared, and it seemed like he was looking after himself a bit more. Anyway, fast forward a couple of weeks, and I needed something back that he had borrowed from me. He was out, but his room was unlocked so I went in to find it. I couldn’t see it on his desk or shelves, so I had a quick peek under the bed, just in case. Under the bed was a cardboard box full of the dreadlocks that he had cut out, which he had obviously kept for some reason instead of throwing in the bin! The next thing was that food started vanishing from cupboards and the fridge/freezer.

We could never find any proof of who was taking it, but Tom was the only person in the flat who had no money in his bank account and no food in his cupboard but never starved to death.
Anyway, a few months later, once we knew Kate a bit better, we asked her about that first night, and why it had never gone any further. She was horrified and denied that it had ever happened. By this point, we were struggling to trust Tom, and Kate had no reason to lie. She decided that was going to confront him about it, and find out why he had lied their not-so-intimate encounter. When she confronted him, he denied ever saying it, and that the other four of us had obviously got together in secret and made up that he had said it in order to make him look bad.

Then there was a whole other incident where he supposedly got engaged to a woman who was 15 years older than him that no one ever got to meet, who in the space of their 4-month engagement contracted breast cancer and had two miscarriages.

He also had a habit of stealing people’s shoes, wearing them until someone saw him wearing them and challenged him, at which point he would strenuously deny that they weren’t his, and disappear into his room. At some point in the next few days, the missing shoes would miraculously turn up in the kitchen, as if they had been there the whole time and everyone had just not seen them.” baildodger

8. They Brought Home Questionable Homeless Girls


“Oh cool, I finally get to share this!

Around 2007-2008, I was in my late 20’s.

I started living in a 3 bedroom house with 2 high school buddies I’d been good friends with throughout the years following graduation. I felt I was on the same wavelength with both these guys, so at times their – let’s call them personality “quirks” – sometimes bugged me, as would a family member. I let it all slide since I genuinely enjoyed their company.

As time went on, one of my roommates, in particular, loved going out on his own to raves, and occasionally would bring home a girl. No biggie, that’s one of the perks of living in a bachelor pad! I started having an issue with the “quality” of said girls he was picking up though. He kept bringing one particular girl around more often than others.

She was nice but had an air of homelessness about her. Lo and behold, she was living out of her car and kept company with other vagabonds I soon came to find out.

Said vagabonds started making late-night appearances after the occasional rave, but not often enough for me to warrant a talk. I figured “Whatever, they’re not trouble, they’re just somewhat on the smelly side, I can live it with that.” One particular morning I got up to get ready for work.
The original vagabond girl was staying in my friend’s room; I recognized her worn-out car. There was a new face sleeping on the couch… somewhat cutesy blond chick. I tried to ninja my way through the kitchen to make coffee and headed to the bathroom to take a shower.

Halfway through my shower, there’s a frantic knock on the bathroom door, followed by the couch girl barging in. “Oh my god, I just got poop all over the couch, I’m so sorry, I need a towel! Oh my god, I’m sorry.” The bathroom started to fill up with some pungent dookie smells, while I was helplessly wet, and naked in the shower, watching this girl use my towel to wipe off. I understood the severity of the situation, and luckily there were other towels nearby, and I said: “OK, ok, let me get out, you can have the bathroom.” She disregarded me completely, and kept wiping, and stinking up the place! Oh man, I was so grossed out. I reached for the nearest clean towel, wrapped myself in it, and bolted out the bathroom.

I left the nightmare to sort itself in there. I maintained focus, got ready for work, and left in less than 10 minutes.
I texted my roommate on the way to work with a simple message “The girl on the couch pooped herself, and got it all over the bathroom.” I didn’t feel right sitting on that couch anymore. Shortly thereafter, I just moved out… I couldn’t continue living there. Sad to say, we no longer keep in touch.” s8n_sdqr

7. She’d Get Crazy When She Got Wasted, And It Was Never Her Fault

Arthur Podzolkin

“I lived with three other people. We’ll call them James, Jessica, and Karen. James and Jessica were lovers and I have a lot of funny stories about them, but today’s story is about Karen.

James and Jessica were friends of mine and we had moved in together with another person who ended up ditching us. We needed another roommate to cover rent so we went the only route we had available at the time: Craigslist.

The week-long search for a roommate was comical in hindsight. I’m reminded of Mrs. Doubtfire when Robin Williams is calling his ex-wife pretending to be crazy people answering her ad for a nanny.

We had drug dealers asking us if he can move his operation to our house, a woman eight months pregnant demanding we cut the rent and half and another woman who asked if her boyfriend can move in when he’s out of jail (“It was a misunderstanding!” she said).

When Karen arrived, it was a breath of fresh air. She was a 22-year-old college student working as a waitress. She seems a bit high strung and wanted a dog. I wasn’t happy about the dog since I was attacked by my mother’s Shiba Inu a few months back but we were desperate and it was better than the alternatives.

At first, Karen was fine. She was a bit of a neat freak but that’s not something I can complain about. She got her dog, a Pitbull puppy named Chomper that was kinda cute, even if being around it made me edgy.

And then her brain fell out.

Karen went on a winter break trip to Florida and came back in love with a local boy.

Love isn’t the right word. She came back infatuated. Since that day she stopped being a high strung neat freak and turned into a neurotic bee with an itch. Here’s a list of some of the things she did.

Karen insisted on waxing her legs and would scream bloody murder every time. I’m not exaggerating, I don’t know why the police didn’t get called by our neighbors.

Karen called her new boyfriend constantly and ended most phone calls crying uncontrollably because “He’s so far away!”

Karen started drinking.
A lot. She used to drink occasionally now she drank every night.

When Karen drank, she became very annoying. Somewhere, in the back of her brain, a small chunk of her logic and reasoning functions remained active with the sole mission to annoy the heck out of you.

Don’t like loud noises? She’s screaming in your ear. Don’t like to get touched? Get ready to hug it out! Got a test in the morning and need sleep? Some nice, soothing death metal on a scratched CD will relax you.

Karen stopped cleaning. At first, it was her room, then it was her share of the chores. She also lied about it too. Saying she’d completed her chores while her pot of Mac ‘n Cheese was still congealing on the stovetop.

She said she’d take out the trash but would throw it on the back porch. We didn’t know this because it was below freezing and no one had a reason to go outback. After she moved out James discovered the 6-foot high pile of garbage.

Judging by the aerosol cans thrown haphazardly nearby I gathered she was spraying it with anti-dog spray to keep Chompy away. I could never look at our neighbors in the eyes after that…

Speaking of Chompy, Karen had gone from caring for him deeply to completely neglecting him.
She only took him out to go outside and left him confined to his kennel for most of the day. Chompy was a 9-month old with nearly no training and had turned into the puppy from awful placel. That dog pooped everywhere and took food off the table, sometimes from your hands! He also started snapping at people’s faces. My fear of dogs got kicked into overdrive because every time I sat down, Chompy was there to show me his lovely teeth.

Karen would oftentimes go on weekend getaways with her drinking buddies without telling us. This wouldn’t be a problem but she would leave Chompy behind in his kennel with no food or water and often times sitting in his own excrement. The three of us took care of him. I despised this dog but after hearing his pitiful whines I couldn’t help feel bad for the monster. When I confronted her in a text about how she needed to come home, her response was “Thanks for taking care of my dog, I’ll be back in a few days!”

Karen threw a bunch of hotdogs down a bathroom sink. When I asked who did that, James and Jessica both stated it wasn’t them.

We all stared at Karen for a good minute before she owned up to it.

Worst of all, nothing was ever her fault in her mind. She didn’t have a drinking problem, we just had a problem with her drinking. It’s not her fault we had to take care of Chompy, she never asked us to do it. etc etc.

We tried to be fair and give her chances but after the millionth chance I finally snapped and wanted her out. Jessica, the saint, volunteered to be the one to tell her the news because I was too upset at the time. We gave her thirty days’ notice and even her security deposit back (against my wishes) and she moved out nearly without incident.

A year later, James, Jessica and I had moved into a new house together with another mutual friend. Karen showed up to our Halloween party and got intoxicated and cried about how it’s all my fault she’s not living with us.” BW_Bird

6. He Hulked Out While He Was Sleepwalking


“While the terrible things he did to me later in our friendship aren’t crazy, I had one roommate who did something truly bizarre. It began one day while I was at lunch with my girlfriend at the time and her family and got a text from stating: “I owe you a new dresser.”

Junior year I lived with two friends.
We had a 2 bedroom apartment and thus I ended up sharing a room with one of them who I’ll call Jeff.

In this room, we had a walk-in closet. One night, he and the other roommate, who I’ll call Eric, went out partying while I was off at the GF’s place. They come back pretty smashed and Eric passes out on the couch while Jeff drags himself back to our room and onto his bed.

This would normally be the end of the story but Jeff had a strange habit in that when he got really inebriated he would often sleepwalk. Sophomore year he got tons of crap for waking up after a night out, squeezing past a broken door that barely opened into his closet and literally dousing the place with urine. Needless to say, he began to repeat this process that night.

Now as has been told back to me, Jeff reckons he got up during the night, sleepwalked into our shared walk-in closet that shared my Ikea dresser and closed the door behind him before passing out on the floor. A few hours later Jeff wakes up fully only to find himself in an absolutely pitch-black room with unfamiliar objects and no recollection of how he got there.
To this day he claims he thought he was kidnapped.

Apparently Jeff, upon realizing he had been “kidnapped” jumped up and started just going nuts in an attempt to escape. He started banging on the walls and door and screaming “ERRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIICCCCCC” who was comfortably passed out on the couch still and is rather a heavy sleeper.

Now Jeff was a rugby player and quite built and so he started to literally tear his way out of the room. He punched a hole in one wall that led to the bathroom and then proceeded to tear a torso sized hole in the opposite wall. With his bare hands, he went through drywall, insulation and another set of drywall. Upon reaching the vinyl siding that adorned the side of our building he tore down the metal hanging rod, bent it hulk style and started trying to spear through the siding. If we had had wood siding, he would have probably fallen to his death. It was visibly dented from the outside for at least the rest of our time there.

Eventually, after severely denting the vinyl siding and somehow tearing my poor dresser to shreds in the process of all this, Jeff gave up. He really needed to pee and began to cry at the state of his hopelessness.
Sitting in defeat on the floor of the closet, he saw light coming in from the bottom of the door. Spurred by this glorious light and the need to urinate he finally managed to locate the door handle and stepped out into our room.

His victorious words?

“Crap.”” justgotvacancy

Another User Comments:

“Another story with this same roommate.

The year before (don’t ask why I lived with him after this), I was foolin’ around in bed with the same GF and in bursts Jeff, quite intoxicated. Better yet, he has a toothbrush in his mouth for some reason.

Jeff decides he wants to wrestle me and after I get out of bed, he tackles me. On the way down, he faceplants into my wooden desk chair. Jeff then starts seizing, foaming at the mouth (might have been toothpaste, in retrospect). We end up calling 911 while he starts freaking out, and I mean he was completely out of it. We had to hold him down so he wouldn’t hurt himself. He then throws up (all over my lovely oriental rug, I might add) while thrashing about until paramedics get there. After 20 minutes, 2 of the medics have the dude standing up in the hall, where he then calmly turns his head and throws up right onto a medic who just sighs and says, “Gosh DARN IT.”

Rest of a long story short, I get a free ambulance ride and as our RA wasn’t on duty, I ended up being the one to call his parents at 3 AM (we were legitimately worried he had some real head trauma).

That was a fun phone call. “Hey Mrs. Jeff, you’re probably wondering why I’m calling you at 3 AM….”” justgotvacancy

5. He Punched My Cat In The Face For Eating His Food That He Left Out All Day


“When I first moved to Boston I was looking for places with a friend. She ended up leaving me out to dry, and I couldn’t afford a one-bedroom. While on Craigslist (I know…), I found an amazing 2 bedroom and a girl who was looking for a roommate. We agreed to meet for lunch.

When we got together, the first thing I mentioned was I had a cat with me who was a sweetheart and would be living with me come heck or high water. I’d had issues with people being allergic, places not allowing cats, etc.

she said it was no problem. She seemed nice enough, so we went to the place to apply.

Red flag #1: We go to the building and I’m in love with the place, so we apply for a credit check. Turns out because she’s here for school from South Korea, she has no valid credit, so the lease would be in my name and I would be the guarantor for her rent.
It seemed shady, but she DID find the place and I figured, oh well, why not.

Red flag #2: When we move in, we notice only one bedroom has ac, and the place doesn’t allow window units. She gives me the room because I was in charge of the lease and I agreed to pay $50 more in rent than her.

About 2 weeks in, I come home late to find a sheet NAILED across the entryway to the living room (open floor plan). While I was out, she decided she could no longer stand the heat and MOVED all my antique furniture into her room and all her things into her new bedroom. I flipped out and told her she had to put it back. She did grudgingly, and in the process damaged a bureau that had been in my family for 3 generations and said: “It was always that way.”

Red flag #3: Despite my open and immediate disclosure of my cat, it became quickly evident that she held some carnal fear/animosity toward my cat. She began asking me to lock him in my room so he wouldn’t sneak in and kill her (he is a 10 lb grey tabby).

When I told her domestic cats don’t kill people, she told me about some Korean movie where a cat kills people and said it was based on truth.
I stared at this 30-year-old woman who I was quickly realizing was borderline insane, and told her the cat had just as much right to the apartment as she did. Keep in mind he mostly sleeps and keeps to himself, never went in her room.

The final straw: Despite many attempts at teaching my roommate things like how to use a washing machine, dishwasher, cook rice….cleanliness never caught on. She would order kimchi, eat half at the kitchen table, and then go to class leaving the plate of kimchi ALL EFFING DAY. When she returned home, she would sit at the table, and finish the meal.

It was absolutely disgusting. So one night, I’m hanging on the couch watching tv and trying to ignore the stench of rotting tuna when I hear her scream. Turns out my cat decided she was done with the nasty tuna she’d left from lunch and jumped on the table to help her finish it. But instead of behaving like a rational human being and shooing the cat, reevaluating her life choices, etc. she decided the best course of action is to PUNCH MY CAT IN THE FACE and chase him around the apartment. I literally had to drag her away from my cat while she screamed at him in Korean and swung.
When she stopped, I told her she had one week to get her stuff and get out.

She agreed to leave (thank god), and I found a more tolerable roommate to finish her lease.” derpcatz

4. She Melted His Shoe In The Oven


Honestly, I’m more concerned that she only melted one of his shoes.

“Here it goes…

I had two very conservative roommates, and one of whom was constantly behind on rent/utilities and yet would go out and buy new shoes or clothes. Anyways, they were better friends with each other than they were with me. The one who wasn’t constantly behind on bills was actually okay… on her own. The one who was constantly behind on rent liked to lay around all freaking day when she wasn’t in class (we were college students) watching TV. We only had one TV in the house and it was in the living room.

Anyways, despite being behind on rent this girl felt like she had a right to come up with house rules with the other roommate without consulting me and present me with this list of rules.

Rule one: No boys upstairs where our bedrooms were. EXCEPT for their male friend who was allowed to go upstairs to use our washer/dryer.
Right. Rule two: No laundry after 9:00 pm (ok fine.. this one is reasonable) I can’t remember rules 3-6 but they were about as ridiculous as rule #1.

I had a boyfriend and neither of the other two girls did. It’s worth noting that I was a pretty conservative person myself, but I also didn’t think my roommates should have any say in what I decided to do in my own relationship and as to whether or not I should be allowed to have a boy in my room.

One night my boyfriend and I rented a movie and were really hoping to watch it at my place. (His place wasn’t an option that night, I think his roommates were having a LAN party or something). Anyways, we go to my place and, as usual, a girl who was always behind on rent was watching Netflix. So, I said ‘screw it’ and we headed up to my room, shut the door, and watched our movie on my laptop while sitting on my bed. After the movie, we fell asleep. Big mistake. We woke up early the next morning (Like 5 am) and I walked my boyfriend downstairs. When we got downstairs we realized that his freaking shoes were missing.
These were really nice $100 shoes from REI.

We looked around and found one shoe outside. We couldn’t for the life of us find the other shoe so, he went home wearing only one. Later that day I came home from class and a long day of work and pre-heated the oven to make dinner. I started smelling something weird. I opened the oven to find my boyfriend’s shoe melting in the oven. I was RAGING MAD. I told my roommates that they would have to pay for a new pair. The one who was always behind on rent screamed at me and told me she wasn’t paying for anything and that I was the one who broke the rules…. that I didn’t come up with…. that I didn’t agree to.

And can I mention again that she was always asking us to cover bills for her?

After this incident when the next bill came due that she couldn’t pay I said eff you. I was working three jobs and going to school full time. I didn’t have any extra money. I told her should ask our other roommate to cover it. She finally got really miffed at the rent/bill situation, but NOT at HER… at ME.
I can’t figure out how that worked out to this day.” Reddit user

3. He Was Weird From Day One, Then He Became A Demon


“Junior year of college. I had to lease through an agency and get random roommates. Prior to the summer, I met my two random roommates and they seemed cool.

We had everything settled: who was bringing what, who got the parking, yada yada. The day before we move in we each get a phone call from a very nasally, stereotypically nerdy sounding guy named Chris. He screams into the phone “I need the parking space!” before even introducing himself. And that’s how I met my third random roommate, Chris.

Over the first month of moving in, Chris proved to be weird as ever. The first strange thing was his overall appearance. Didn’t take care of himself, smelled like a gorilla’s butt, and pretty obese. Next, his room. He had the creepiest family portrait on his desk next to his collection of bullet casings. Yep, many used shells were just chilling on his desk.

And then, even from the moment, he moved in, his room just had the foulest odor. It literally smelled like decaying something or other. And then the events started happening…

Event 1: Almost immediately we would hear voices.
Chris would talk to himself in different voices all day, all night. Then the voices would stop and we would hear pounding. It legitimately sounded like he was repeatedly throwing himself against the wall. Then it would stop. Then it would start. Stop. Start. All the freaking time.

Event 2: I was home for Labor Day weekend and only my roommate Adam and Chris were at the apartment. Adam’s girlfriend came to visit and Adam had a few friends over. Whenever we had parties (or even a few people) Chris would storm out of the apartment in his basketball shorts with no shoes (even in the middle of winter) and not return for some time.

Well, he stormed out in the middle of Adam’s get together and didn’t come back. Everyone left around 1 so Adam and his girlfriend went to lay down in his room, which faces the front of the apartment. Adam’s room is right next to the front door. So as they’re laying there about to fall asleep, Adam and his girlfriend hear a man’s voice audibly say, “I’m going to FULL ON murder you all.” His girlfriend freaks, Adam jumps up and throws open his door when he sees Chris reentering the apartment.
Adam asks Chris if he saw anyone outside and what he just heard someone blatantly whisper through his window. Chris’s response? “I would be scared if I were you.”

Event 3: About a week after Labor Day, I was in the living room doing homework.

There is a wall separating the living room and kitchen and Chris’s bedroom is on the side of the kitchen where if he walked out of his room, he wouldn’t be able to see into the living room. As I’m sitting there, I hear Chris’s door open. In the most demonic, deep voice (not nasally at all) I hear him shout “Who the flip left the light on?” He then turns the kitchen light off and returns to his room and slams the door. He then begins shouting in this demon voice, but then it changes to this soft feminine sounding voice and then back to this demon voice. In these two voices, he was having an argument with himself. At one point, he would be demon screaming and then the next he would be softly crying “I’m so sorry, Chris.” When he started apologizing, he also started slamming himself so hard against the wall that the whole apartment shook.

I was sitting on the couch in awe at what I was hearing. I then hear his door slam open and he’s still shouting when he turns the corner and sees me sitting there in awe. The moment he sees me, in his nasal voice, he says “Oh…” and left the apartment with no shoes, no keys. He never acknowledged it again, even when I brought it up to him when he later returned.

Anyway, I went to the realtor and tried to move or get him removed to no avail. Adam and I installed key locks on our doors and I personally propped up my desk chair in front of my door every night (pretty sure Adam slept with a hammer by his bed for protection purposes).

Adam’s girlfriend never came back over but we learned to deal with it. We would have parties, Chris would leave or sometimes stay (and our partygoers would hear him throw himself against the wall for hours and we would explain our weird roommate Chris). Last I heard Chris was in Texas working as a teacher and Adam and I live to tell this tale to this day.” jawucka

2. He Swore Vampires Were Following Him


“My time to shine.

I had a roommate who chose not to tell me that he was schizophrenic and didn’t take his medication, or at least that’s my working theory, he never copped to any of this.
He came home one night at 2 a.m. and woke me up by SLOWLY opening my bedroom door and standing in the doorway until I woke up.

Startled, I asked what was up. He told me over and over “We’re not safe. You’re not safe.” Then he dashed off to our back door which leads to the roof. I grabbed my knife from one of my desk drawers, stuffed it into my pajama pants and followed him up. He started screaming at me that there was a vampire in our apartment. He was dead serious. Looking in his eyes, he clearly believed it, and he was also clearly intoxicated off his butt.

He kept staggering toward me, while on top of a roof, with no fencing or anything and generally getting too close. I snapped on him and he backed off. He kept walked inches from the edge of the rooftop, and nearly fell off from his unstable swaying.

I finally talked him down with a, “Let’s go look for it.”

So we go down, he swings open every door, cabinet, etc and can’t find anything. He is frustrated by this. He grabs some extra drinks from the fridge and starts telling me this really in-depth story about how a vampire followed him home from this bar/club.
Now it’s in the house. But it’s tricky, and now it’s hiding out. We just have to wait for it.

After 20 or so minutes of this garbage, I decide this isn’t going away and I need to get the frig out. I tell him I’m going to run a couple of blocks down to the nearest 7 Eleven and grab some food, does he want anything? He tells me to be careful, we should go together.

I say no thanks and tell him I’ll be back soon. Left, called the landlord and left a voicemail to explain the craziness and renounce me from any responsibility if he hurts himself or breaks something.

I called a friend, took a cab and spent the night at their house. I came home the next day and the neighbor below me (my roommate and I were on the top/3rd floor) stopped me in the hallway and said, “We need to talk. What happened last night?” to which I respond “I don’t know. My roommate was acting insane, like really insane, and I left because I was worried about my safety. What happened?” Apparently my roommate had been SPRINTING up and down the back hallway stairs (three floors plus a roof and a basement) all night, screaming about getting away from the vampires.

He also ripped the roof door, and our front door, off the hinges.

I came home, we talked a bit and he knew he had messed up. He was a nice guy, and prior to this, we’d lived together for 8 months without absolutely zero issues. I got our landlord to renege on my roommate’s half of the lease, which everyone agreed to with no issues. I let him stay for another week because he was finishing his junior year of finals at the college he went to in the city, and I didn’t want to put him out after one incident, no matter how severe. I slept with my knife in my hand every night for that last week.” victorduruy

1. She Endangered Us By Bringing Her Violent Boyfriend Over


“Made the mistake of renting my first apartment with a chick who I’d only known for about 3 months, but with whom I’d become very close very quickly.

I was 20 and she was 23.

She ended up dating some scumbag dude from a very sketchy neighborhood on the opposite side of our city. He was an absolute a-hole.

They fought often and I received not a few phone calls from her in the middle of the night, intoxicated off her butt, and begging me to come to pick her up.
She usually didn’t know where she was but wanted to get away from him. It was always on nights when I had to be up early for either school or work.

He also punched 2 holes in one of her bedroom walls when they got into an altercation in our apartment. Thankfully I wasn’t home for that one.

What sealed the deal for me not wanting to live with her anymore was when we had a Halloween party and only a few folks showed up.

She went down to a neighborhood bar to rally a few more people to come over. I stayed at home and drank some drinks that she’d gotten for us. Her boyfriend was there and was angry that she’d left to find more attendees, some of whom were guys… one of whom had a blatant crush on her.

The boyfriend ended up sitting on her bed, crying and ranting that he thought she was cheating on him, and I sat on the floor with a buzz and covered in makeup, trying to reassure him that she wasn’t and attempting to calm him down. It didn’t work and eventually, he said, “Eff this!” and reached into his overnight bag and pulled out a semi-automatic weapon.

He racked the slide and left the room. He went to confront my roommate and this other dude.

I sat on the floor in a daze, thinking that I’d somehow just made myself an accomplice to a murder. That the cops would be called, and that I’d be in even MORE trouble with the cops for drinking underage.

Thankfully, the situation somehow deescalated and no one was hurt, but that was the straw that broke the proverbial camel’s back. It took about a week for me to summon up the courage to tell her that I didn’t want her boyfriend to come around anymore. She insisted that she paid half of the rent, therefore half of the apartment was hers, and that she could invite over whoever she wanted.

It took about another week for me to tell her that I didn’t want to live together anymore. She was FURIOUS.

She refused to leave and told me that I’d have to be the one to go. I ended up calling the landlord and explaining to him everything that had gone on in that apartment with my roommate and her boyfriend. He came one afternoon while she was at work and I had the day off.
I showed him the physical evidence (holes that she’d covered up with posters) and filled him in on the rest (there’s more to this story, but I’ve mentioned the biggest indiscretions).

He called her and told her that they needed to talk, giving her the heads-up that he’d be at our place when she got home.

She arrived and tried to avoid him, even though she had to walk past him through the living room to get to hers. He demanded that she come and talk to him in the living room. She eventually relented once he’d asserted his landlord authority. He called her out on the stuff that had happened, she denied everything at first until he told her that he’d seen the holes in the wall and was, therefore, more inclined to believe me.

She started crying and fessed up to everything. He told her that she had a week to vacate.

I left for that week, moving back to my mother’s with my cat and valuables (in case she decided to exact some sort of revenge on my pet or possessions, which wouldn’t have surprised me in the least).

I came back to find her things gone… along with some of my art supplies and half of my dishes.” SmokingGunontheRun

If I had to deal with any of these incidences, I’d be running for the hills! Which roommate is the craziest in your opinion, and how would you have handled them? Share it with us in the